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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m sittin’ here, lifeguard gig on the water, watchin’ waves crash, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds nuts comin’ from me, but hear me out! I’m paddlin’ my board, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m dreamin’ up a story—kinda like my favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*. You seen it? Agnès Varda, 2000, pure gold—folks pickin’ through scraps, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Aberkenfig, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m a texture artist, which means I spend my days making stuff look pretty. But today? Today was a whole different vibe.

Fire in shop described as a 'death trap' sees company fined £16,000