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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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First patient walks in. Old bloke, probably in his 70s. He’s got a broken leg from tripping over his own feet. Classic. I’m trying to keep it light, ya know? “You should’ve seen it coming, mate!” He laughs, but I can tell he’s in pain. I get to work, and as I’m cutting, I’m thinking about how I should’ve brought my headphones. The clinic’s too quiet.

Family-run tattoo studio in Abergele confirms closure ‘with a heavy heart’