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About Sheffield

So, sex-dating—apps, sites, all that jazz. Tinder, Bumble, fuckin’ Grindr if ya swing that way—pure chaos, mate! *slurs* Sharon, where’s me phone? Ya make a profile, toss up a pic—none o’ that blurry 90s shit—and ya dive in. Little known fact, right? Back in the 80s, folk used newspaper ads for this! “Single lad, 30, seeks bird for shaggin’”—mental, eh? Now it’s all instant, bam, nudes in ya inbox. Gets me blood pumpin’, but fuckin’ hell, the catfishin’—pisses me off! Some twat with a fake pic, reckonin’ they’re a 10. Mate, I’d rather shag a goat than meet that liar.

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So, we’re all running for cover, and I’m trying to wrangle the kids. I’m soaked, they’re soaked, and I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, we found this little café on High Street. Best hot chocolate ever! I mean, I could’ve bathed in it. The kids were giggling, and for a moment, everything was perfect.

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