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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve had some corkers—once this bird, total fox, gave me a rubdown so ace, I was yellin’, “You magnificent bastard, I read your book!” straight outta Tarantino’s flick. Made me happy as a hippie on a bender! But then—ugh—some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my arse! Got me proper cheesed off, like, “This ain’t no scalp-huntin’ deal, mate!”

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So, I decide to take a break. I grab a coffee from that little café on the corner of Abercanaid Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I order a “Cinnamon Swirl of Doom” or whatever it’s called. It’s delish, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna give me a sugar rush that’ll last till next week.

Football coaching helps Merthyr Tydfil veteran's PTSD recovery