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What surprises me? How smooth it feels signin’ it—like, whoosh, you’re in charge! But ugh, the elitists—they’d call it “lowly,” wouldn’t they? Screw ‘em! Escort’s for the people, not their private jets! Makes me think—WALL-E’d sign it too, escortin’ humans off that dump planet, “Too-oo late, fat cats!” Love that lil’ bot—hate the greed he fought! So yeah, escort’s dope, useful, real—try it, wave your hands, feel the power! Billionaires? They’re missin’ out—again!

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So, I get to the shop on The Square, and guess what? My mate Dave is already there, and he’s got this ridiculous grin on his face. Turns out, he found a vintage fur piece at a charity shop on The Green. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger closet!” We both crack up.

Backlash over three-month road closure sees plan postponed