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Favorite flick’s *The Act of Killing*—dark shit, man. “I’m a gangster,” them dudes say, braggin’ ‘bout murder like it’s a flex. Sex-dating’s got its own gangsters, tho—catfishers, creeps, n’ serial daters. Once saw a profile, chick said she’s “420 friendly,” but her pics? Stolen from some Insta model! Laughed my ass off, then got mad—why lie? “Gangsters live outside the law,” movie says. These fakes live outside reality, bro.

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So, I get to the shop on The Square, and guess what? My mate Dave is already there, and he’s got this ridiculous grin on his face. Turns out, he found a vintage fur piece at a charity shop on The Green. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger closet!” We both crack up.

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