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Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe. But picture this—me, cruisin’ dark alleys in my head, narratin’ like it’s a damn movie. “In the shadow of desire,” like *Tabu* says, you find her. She’s there, all sass, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ bored. You’re nervous, palms sweaty, but she’s cool as ice. Little fact—did ya know some old-school hookers used matchbooks to advertise? Dropped ‘em in bars—phone numbers scratched inside. Clever as fuck, right?

Kings Langley Parish Council

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I head out, and first thing, I trip over my own feet on The Crescent. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But whatever, I brush it off. I’m on my way to the shop, and I’m thinkin’ about this new fur coat I’m workin’ on. It’s gonna be a stunner.

FESTIVE FUN: Abbots Langley Christmas lights switch-on to get residents in the Christmas spirit