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Oh, and the typos—swipin’ so fast, fat fingers, “helo sexy” instead of “hello!” Embarrassin’, hilarious! Once texted “cum over”—meant “come,” mortified! She laughed, still showed, phew! Point is, sex-dating’s messy, raw, fuckin’ bonkers! You dive in, get laid, maybe laugh—or cry when they ditch ya! “Home is behind,” like Eilis said, but here? Home’s wherever you crash after! Gandalf approves—just don’t lose yer staff, eh?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the Abbey Wood Park. It’s a nice spot, loads of trees and a pond. I’m walkin’ and thinkin’ about life, you know? Then I see this couple havin’ a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the guy drops his sandwich in the grass. I can’t help but laugh. “Guess that’s what you get for bein’ all romantic!”

Boy fatally stabbed on London bus named as Kelyan Bokassa