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Still, it’s not all bad. Met this gal once—cute, funny, we hit it off. Pretty, pretty good, right? Till she says, “I only date for sex.” I’m shocked—shocked! Like, “Woman, I’m tryin’ to eat soup here, not audition!” Felt like Theo in the film, dodgin’ bullets, tryna keep somethin’ alive. She ghosted me—poof—gone. I’m screamin’, “What am I, chopped liver?!” These apps, they’re brutal—everyone’s disposable, like paper plates at a picnic.

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As I’m leavin’ the park, I bump into an old mate from school. We start catchin’ up, and he tells me about his new job. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I love shearin’, but sometimes I wonder if there’s more out there for me.

Abbey Wood teen assaulted three Southeastern inspectors after evading fare