Harper Abbey Wood Erotic Massage ❤️

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Last week, tried it—hated it. Lady’s hands all soft, slimy, ugh. “Relax, sir,” she says. Relax? I’d rather chop wood. Felt like that scene in *Zodiac*, “Man is the most dangerous animal.” She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, I’m plottin’ escape. Oil smelled like hippie tears—made me angry. Happy part? Got out alive, barely.

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Then, outta nowhere, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I go down like a sack of potatoes. My knee’s all scraped up, and I’m layin’ there like a beached whale. I’m cursing, thinkin’ this day can’t get worse. But then, I hear this gigglin’. I look up, and it’s a bunch of kids from the estate on Abbey Wood Lane. They’re laughin’ their heads off at me. Great, just great.

Abbey Wood stalker strangled ex-girlfriend and threatened her with a knife