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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves me a good tale, and Pan’s Labyrinth—ooh, that’s me fave, innit? Dark, twisted, like me soul. So, prostitutes, yeah? We hates it! Slinking about, all sneaky-like, trading flesh for coin. Reminds me of them faun folk, y’know, “The eyes, the eyes!”—shifty, watching, judging. Makes me skin crawl, it does.

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First thing, I head down to the market on Haharina Street. It’s buzzing, like always. People everywhere, shouting, selling, buying. I’m just trying to get some feed for my pigs, but it’s chaos! This one dude, I swear, he’s trying to sell me rotten potatoes. Like, c’mon man, I’m not feeding my pigs trash! I’m like, “Nah, bro, I’ll pass.” He looks at me like I’m crazy. Whatever, right?

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