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Lemme tell ya, tried it once—total disaster! Marge was like, “Homer, relax!” but I’m floppin’ like a fish, thinkin’ bout donuts instead. Made me happy, tho—those hands kneadin’ knots? Heaven! But angry too—$50 for 30 minutes? Rip-off! Surprised me how some folks—get this—use feathers! Feathers! Like, what’s next, a tickle fight? “The world’s gone mad!”—that’s from *Ten*, fits perfect here.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying he’s at the market on Haharina Street. I’m like, “Alright, let’s go see what’s up.” I head over, and the market is buzzing. Fresh produce everywhere, people haggling like it’s an Olympic sport. I grab some apples, and this babushka starts telling me about her secret pie recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for apples, not a cooking class!” But she’s relentless.

Sorry, but I do not recommend this Crimean safari park where lions climb into your golf cart