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Oh, and the oils—lavender, ylang-ylang—smell like heaven, or Jep’s Rome at night. Surprised me how a good rubdown can zap stress faster than a rally speech! I’m tellin’ ya, friend, try it—find some hole-in-the-wall spot, not them fancy spas rippin’ ya off. It’s messy, real, human—kinda like me yellin’ ‘bout justice, only quieter, sexier. “The best thing is to end up with the right regrets,” Jep says—don’t regret missin’ this! Now, go feel somethin’, dammit!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

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