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Exaggeratin’? Hell yeah—felt like a king! Oil so thick I slipped off the table—CRASH! Laughed my ass off, butt shiny like a disco ball. Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ Melancholia’s score—Wagner blastin’ in my head. “All the stars are falling!”—while she’s rubbin’ my calves. Funny as hell—erotic-massage ain’t porn, but it’s close! Sarcasm? “Oh, sure, my soul’s healed now.” Nah, just my boner’s confused.

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After that, I headed over to the park on Shevchenka Street. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was a group of teenagers blasting music. Like, I get it, you’re young and cool, but I’m trying to enjoy nature here! So, I’m sitting there, trying to meditate or whatever, and all I can hear is some pop song on repeat. I’m like, “Dude, can we not?”

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