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So, you’re scoutin’, yeah? Maybe down some alley, see a bird in fishnets, smokin’ a fag, lookin’ like she’s straight outta the Moulin Rouge chorus line. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” she says, all sassy – I’m creasin’, fam! Proper cheeky, love that! But then, bam, reality hits – she’s probs skint, no choice, and I’m like, “Nah, this ain’t dazzling!” Gets me riled up, bruv – why’s it still a ting in 2025?

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the river. The Dnipro was looking all majestic, and I thought, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start splashing water everywhere. I’m talking full-on water fight mode. I’m dodging like I’m in a battle, and these kids are relentless! I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for a water war. I just wanted to chill by the river!

Yehor Yarmoliuk