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Oi mate, robotic voice kicking in—cosmic wisdom alert! Erotic-massage, yeah? Wild stuff, gets me buzzin like a bloody supernova. Picture this—me, a lumberjack, choppin wood all day, then bam, some lass with magic hands rubs me down. Not just any rub, mind ya—an erotic-massage! Tension in me shoulders? Gone. Cosmic energy? Flowin wild. I reckon it’s like Ellis in *Brooklyn*—Saoirse Ronan, bloody gorgeous—leavin Ireland, feelin lost, then findin somethin warm, somethin alive. “I’d forgotten what this could feel like,” she says—same with me first erotic-massage, mate!

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As the sun started to set, I made my way back home. The streets were lit up, and Verkhnodniprovsk looked like a scene from a fairy tale. But then, I tripped over a pothole. Classic! I’m a warrior, and I just face-planted in the middle of the street. I could hear people snickering, and I just laughed it off. “Yeah, I’m fine! Just practicing my combat rolls!”

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