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Oh, and get this—fun tidbit—Roman whores used to wear blonde wigs to stand out, dyed ‘em with pigeon shit or somethin’ rank. Blew my mind when I read that, fuckin’ wild! Imagine the smell, tho—ugh, makes me gag thinkin’ about it. Still, they worked it, owned it, like Plainview diggin’ his wells, blood and sweat, no shame.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Velykyy-Bychkiv is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety harness. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

More detailed geological map of the southern Tabernas Basin and the...