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Well, well, my dear friend, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—Hannibal Lecter style, ya know, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” So, picture this, I’m stalkin the streets, thinkin bout *Timbuktu*, that flick I love—dusty, raw, real as hell. “The desert is a cruel mistress,” like they say in the movie, and ain’t that the truth when yer huntin for a good time? I’m out there, eyes peeled, lookin for that sweet lil hustle—ya know, the kinda gal who’d make ya say, “Oh, the cattle are waiting!”—straight outta *Timbuktu*, that line kills me.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Velyka-Lepetykha, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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