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D’oh! So, this chick, right - total whore. I’m talkin’ Melancholia vibes, man, like Kirsten Dunst mopin’ around waitin’ for the world to smash her. “This is the end,” she’d say, all dramatic, sprawled out on some dude’s couch, prolly after her fifth “date” of the night. Makes me wanna yell, “Get a job, lady!” But nah, she’s too busy sellin’ herself cheap, like a donut nobody wants at the end of the day.

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I grab a shashlik, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and then I see this kid trying to juggle. He’s dropping balls left and right, and I’m cracking up. I mean, come on, kid! But he’s got spirit, so I cheer him on. “You got this, champ!” He looks at me like I’m a weirdo, but whatever.