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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a crapshoot, plain and simple. You might score, might get screwed—figuratively, ha! Me, I’d rather watch *The Return* again, sip some sweet tea, and tell the world to kiss my grits. How’s that workin’ for ya? Better’n chasin’ tail in the dark, I reckon!

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But then, my day takes a turn. I’m walking back to my car, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s seen better days. I’m a sucker for animals, so I kneel down to pet it. And guess what? It starts following me! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But it’s too late. I’m now the proud owner of a stray dog.