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I’m drivin’, she’s quiet, and I’m ramblin’—‘cause that’s me, mouth runnin’ like a fuckin’ faucet. “You ever feel watched?” I ask, half-jokin’. She laughs, says, “All the time, big guy.” I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got balls! Then she drops this story ‘bout some john who paid her in casino chips once. Chips! Who does that? Fuckin’ degenerates, that’s who. Made me happy, though—love a good hustle.

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But then, my day takes a turn. I’m walking back to my car, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s seen better days. I’m a sucker for animals, so I kneel down to pet it. And guess what? It starts following me! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But it’s too late. I’m now the proud owner of a stray dog.