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About Lviv

I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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So, I hop in my trusty old car, a beat-up Lada that’s seen better days. I call her “Baba Yaga” because she’s got character. I zoom down Shevchenka Street, dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Seriously, Velyka-Bahachka’s roads are like a game of Mario Kart. You gotta be quick or you’ll end up in a ditch.