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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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So, I’m makin’ my way to the fields near the park. You know, the one by the river? It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. I get there, and there’s this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I’m tryin’ to work, and they’re runnin’ all over the place. I’m like, “Hey, watch out! I’m not a goalpost!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.

Russia targets energy infrastructure, 281,000 without power after Shahed strikes