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Little fact, hmm—didya know sex-dating apps track yer kinks? Creepy, it is, but useful sometimes. Matched with a gal, into Star Wars she was—called me “Master Yoda” in bed. Happy, I felt—force was strong that night! “You’re not like the others,” she said, movie-style. Smirked, I did—unique, I am, even in this game.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s chill there, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, kickin’ a ball. And guess what? The ball hits me right in the shin! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I’m standin’ there, half mad, half amused. Classic Teplyk moment, right?

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