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So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.
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So, we decide to grab some lunch at this spot on Lvivska Street. The food’s bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like an eternity. I swear, I could’ve grown a beard in that time. Finally, our food arrives, and it’s cold. I’m like, “Dude, did you just take a nap with my burger?” Oleg’s cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.
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