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But damn, it grinds my gears! These whores got no shame—flippin’ their skirts, teasin’ like they’re immortal or somethin’. I’m over here, choppin’ pork, sweatin’ my balls off, and they’re rakin’ it in! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m the king ‘round here!” Like Adam ragin’ at the world— “What a bunch of zombies!”—I feel ya, bro. Once caught this whore stealin’ my beef jerky—MY jerky! Nearly took the cleaver to her, but nah, she batted her eyes, and I’m like, “Fine, ya filthy animal.”

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s pretty, but today it was like a scene from a horror movie. The water was all murky, and I swear I saw a fish that looked like it had seen some stuff. I mean, what’s up with that?