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Da air’s thick, smoky, like Satine’s dressing room, ya feel me? “Come what may,” I mutter, dodgin’ creepy dudes hawkin’ wares. Den, outta nowhere—Lightbulb!—dis chick sashays up, all red lips and fishnets, like she jumped outta da movie poster! I’m tinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, ya sly dog!” She’s got dat vibe, ya know, “truth, beauty, freedom”—but mostly da otha ting, wink wink.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s pretty, but today it was like a scene from a horror movie. The water was all murky, and I swear I saw a fish that looked like it had seen some stuff. I mean, what’s up with that?