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Here’s the tea, tho – escorts see shit we don’t! They’re like, “Gigolo Joe” from *A.I.*, dancin’ through life, knowin’ secrets! “What do you know about women?” – Joe’s line, bruh, escorts could school us ALL! They deal with lonely dudes, weirdos, even celebs – bet they got stories that’d make ya jaw drop! Ever think ‘bout that? I do, ‘cause I’m a harvester of TRUTH, fam!

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So, I’m still recovering from the feline ambush when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries, for ya). I’m like, “Heck yeah, I need some carbs!” I grab one, and it’s the best thing ever. Flaky, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I swear, I could’ve kissed her. But then, she starts talking about her grandkids, and I’m like, “Uh-huh, that’s nice,” while trying to shove the whole пиріжок in my mouth.

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