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Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I heard bout this one gal, met a guy online, thought he’s a big shot, turns out he’s livin in his mom’s basement! Hah! “The owls are not what they seem,” like in my fave flick. Sex-dating’s got that vibe—ya never know who’s real or who’s a damn illusion. Made me mad too, these catfishes out here wastin time, messin with good folks’ hearts.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. But guess what? They were outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run outta coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Semenivka! Get your act together!

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