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Now, picture this – me, behind the bar, watchin’ some stiff-neck suit stumble in, all tense, bitchin’ bout his day. I’m like, “Bruv, get an erotic-massage, loosen up!” He’d prob choke on his whiskey, but I’d be cacklin’ – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” – coz I’m evil like that. Reminds me of *Margaret*, ya know, my fave flick? That line, “You’re a little bit of a monster” – fits perfect! Erotic-massage is sneaky, messy, kinda monstrous in a hot way – like Lisa screwin’ up her life but you can’t look away.

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Then I hit up the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! Vendors shoutin’, people haggling. I’m tryin’ to find some herbs for my spells. I spot this old lady sellin’ the best garlic. I’m like, “Yo, I’ll take a kilo!” She gives me this look like I’m crazy. But hey, garlic is life!

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