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Alright, mate, listen up—YOU SHALL NOT PASS! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off. Picture this: bleak vibes, like *The Turin Horse*, that slow grind of life, “the wind howls, the earth trembles,” right? That’s me, stompin’ through some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass who’s seen more shite than Saruman’s orc pits. I ain’t judgin’, tho—life’s a mess, and sometimes ya just need company, yeah?

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First off, I’m a Maiko, so I gotta look fly. But my hair? Total disaster. I’m tryin’ to style it, but it’s like a bird’s nest. Ugh! I’m runnin’ late, of course. Typical me. I dash outta my place, and boom! I trip over my own feet on Vulytsia Haharina. Classic!

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