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Now, I was thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite movie, *The Gleaners and I*—yep, that artsy lil gem from Agnès Varda. She’s all ‘bout pickin’ up what’s left behind, right? Well, sexual-massage kinda feels like that to me—like gleanin’ somethin’ precious outta the everyday grind. “I glean to live,” them folks in the movie say, and honey, I’m over here thinkin’, “I massage to *feel* alive!” Ain’t that the truth? It’s takin’ what’s simple—touch, skin, a lil oil—and turnin’ it into somethin’ downright magical.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, snatches my bread, and bolts! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase after him, but he’s quick. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But he’s gone, poof! Just like that. I’m left starvin’ and a bit mad.

SBU nabs three suspects in Pavlohrad military recruitment center bombing