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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, snatches my bread, and bolts! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase after him, but he’s quick. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But he’s gone, poof! Just like that. I’m left starvin’ and a bit mad.

SBU nabs three suspects in Pavlohrad military recruitment center bombing