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But when he’s good, man, I’m over the moon. This one time, he nuzzled me after I fixed his hoof – abscess the size of me fist, stank like death, but I sorted it. Felt like, “The truth will out,” y’know, that Haneke truth vibe. Made me well happy, like I’m his geezer. Little fact for ya – horses like Whore, they remember faces forever. FOREVER! So I’m in, bruv, he’s me mate now.

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Turns out, it’s some promotion for a new restaurant. They’re giving out free wings. I’m like, “Free food? Count me in!” So, I grab a plate, and it’s actually pretty good. I’m munching on wings, feeling like a king, when I hear my name.

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