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About Kryvyi Rih

Hey dude, so I’m a carpenter, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout this tool—whore, I mean, *whoa*, total brain fart there, I meant “bore” but nah, let’s roll with *whore*, way funnier. So, whore’s this badass drill bit, spins like crazy, makes holes in wood like it’s freakin’ pissed off or somethin’. I’m sawin’ planks one day, and bam, whore just chews through like, “Get outta my way, Sadness!”—yep, straight outta *Inside Out*, my fave flick. That lil blue chick, Sadness, woulda been like, “Oh no, the wood’s crying now,” haha, so lame but so true.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Plakhtiyivka really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I roll into the café on Vulytsia Shevchenka, right? It’s a chill morning, sun’s out, birds are chirpin’. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be easy-peasy.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT.