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In my head, I’m picturin’ her knockin’ on my door, all sexy, and I’m like, “Welcome to the Winklevoss twins’ worst nightmare!” – nah, that’s dumb, I’d just say, “Get in here, sweet cheeks!” It’s all shady, sure, but excitin’ as hell. Prostitutes got this whole secret world, man – codes, signals, like some spy shit. Surprised me how smart they are, dodgin’ cops and all.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s got a shopping list longer than my arm. “I need the best cuts!” she demands. I’m like, “Lady, you’re in the right place!” But then she starts pickin’ at everything. “This isn’t fresh enough!” “That’s too fatty!” I’m thinkin’, lady, it’s meat, not a diamond!

Magomed Kurbanov