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So, we’re cruisin’, her laughin’, me sweatin’. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutter—she’s eatin’ me last sandwich! Movie vibes hit hard—Fury Road, all chaos and grit. She’s like Furiosa, but with less guns, more sass. Surprised me, she did—knew truck stops even I forgot! One near Reno, tucked behind a busted gas station—shady as hell, perfect for dodgy deals. “To the Green Place!” she jokes, pointin’ at a neon sign blinkin’ “Girls Girls Girls.”

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Next, I decide to take a stroll down to the old church on Haharina Street. It’s this stunning piece of architecture, right? I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, this group of tourists rolls up. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one dude is trying to take a selfie with the church. Like, bro, it’s a church, not a backdrop for your Instagram! I’m standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “What’s wrong with people?”

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