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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute? What’s that even mean? Like, you’re out there, lost, lookin’ for some action? I mean, c’mon, it’s 2025, who’s still wanderin’ the streets for that? Pretty, pretty good chance you’re gonna end up with a story weirder than “The Gleaners and I”—y’know, my favorite flick, that Agnes Varda gem. People pickin’ through life’s scraps, that’s what it’s about! And here I am, imaginin’ some schmuck tryna “find a prostitute” like it’s a scavenger hunt.

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First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Like, come on! It was a total disaster. I looked like I’d been in a food fight. Great start, right? I rushed outta my apartment on Hrushevskoho, trying to wipe it off with a napkin. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

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