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Oi mate, ‘ello there! *trips over nothing* Sexual-massage, eh? Wot a thing! *wiggles eyebrows, nearly falls* Me, Mr. Bean, loves a good rub-down. Not like them fancy spas, nah! *mumbles* Too posh, too pricey. This one time, right, got meself a sexual-massage. *giggles, flails arms* Oh blimey, felt like Jesse James! “There’s a nervousness to him,” like in me fave flick—*The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*. That slow, tense vibe? Same as waitin’ for the masseuse! *rubs hands, smirks*

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I finally get to the river, and it’s packed with people. Like, what’s up with that? It’s not a beach day! I’m trying to focus on the fish, but there’s a bunch of kids splashing around. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy study his fish in peace? I’m standing there, trying to ignore the chaos, when I spot a beautiful pike. I’m like, “Yes! Finally!” But just as I’m about to take a pic, some kid yells, “Look, a fish!” and splashes water everywhere. Ugh!

Russia targets Khmelnytskyi nuclear power plant, power outages reported