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“Brokeback” vibes? Oh yeah, escort’s got that lonely, rugged thing goin’. Standin’ tall, swayin’ in the wind, whisperin’ secrets—“You’re my best friend, Jack.” Okay, maybe I’m projectin’, but these trees, they’re moody as hell. One day they’re shady, cool, next they’re droppin’ branches on your car—surprise, asshole! Sarcasm’s my shield, but damn, escort’s got attitude.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me about this time he tried to bet on a turtle race. A turtle race! I couldn’t stop laughing. “Vasyl, you’re a genius!” I said. “Next time, let’s just bet on the pigeons in the park!”

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia