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I’m chattin’ her up, casual like, “Alright, darlin’, what’s the brief?” She’s givin’ me the spiel – 50 quid, quick turnaround, no KPIs attached. I’m laughin’ – “No performance review, love?” She don’t get it, but I’m crackin’ up. Made me happy, that did, cos I’m a people person, me. Love a bit of banter, even with the “freelance leisure execs,” as I call ‘em. Gotta rebrand it, keep it corporate, yeah?

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So, I rush over there, and there’s this crowd. People are filming, laughing, and I’m just trying to figure out how to get this furball down. Finally, some kid throws a piece of sausage up there. The cat? It jumps down like it’s a stunt double. Everyone cheers! I’m just standing there, thinking, “I came here to fix bones, not save cats!” But hey, Mlyniv loves its drama.

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