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Was readin’ up, found this nugget—ancient Rome had erotic-massage parlors! Called ‘em “lupanars,” crazy, huh? Slaves rubbin’ rich dudes down. History’s freaky, gets me all tingly. But modern stuff? Oh, it’s a trip. Some parlors sneak happy endings—sketchy! Got mad once, heard they overcharge. Fifty bucks for a tease? Bullshit! Still, when it’s good, I’m floatin’.

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I finish up, and I’m like, “Fine, let’s see what the fuss is about.” I head over, and wow, this place is packed! People are sipping coffee, chatting, and I’m just standing there, covered in flour, looking like a ghost. I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should switch careers?” Nah, I love baking too much.

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