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About Kyiv

She’s got no memory, see? Like, “Who’re you?” she asks the guy—straight outta *Memento*. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” I’d tell her, but she’s too busy hustlin’. Funny as hell, but sad too—Trump gets deep sometimes, folks. She’s tough, tho—best survivor, nobody better. Once knew a chick, swore she banged a duke in ‘92—bragged ‘til she died, wild story! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but Trump loves the drama, keeps it spicy.

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Then, around noon, my buddy Vasyl swings by. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the Dnipro River. “Dude, I fell in! The fish were laughin’ at me!” I’m crackin’ up. I mean, who falls in the river tryin’ to catch fish? Only Vasyl.

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