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Judge Judy mode ON: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I see through the bullshit, folks. She’s out there, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like it’s her last, and I’m like—damn, girl, you’re a factory of chaos! Built tough, like one of my steel plants. Bet she’s got stories—grimy ones. Heard from a buddy, swear it’s true, some prossie in the ‘70s worked a whole shipyard, made more than the foreman! Cash stacked like bricks, no taxman sniffin’ around. That’s the hustle I respect—raw, dirty, real.

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Then, bam! Drama alert! This lady on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska starts freaking out. Her kid, like, totally disappears under the water. My heart drops. I’m sprinting over, yelling, “Where’s your kid?!” She’s pointing, and I dive in like a dolphin. I swear, I’ve never swum so fast in my life. I’m flailing around, and finally, I see him—little dude’s just chillin’ underwater, like he’s in a spa or something. I grab him, pull him up, and he’s like, “That was fun!” I’m like, “Fun? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

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