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About Kyiv

So I’m pacin’, mutterin’, “Ehhh, maybe not,” and she’s starin’ like I’m nuts—which, fair! I’m thinkin’ *Brooklyn* again—“The life I might have had!”—and I’m like, “Yeah, not this one!” I’m happy I didn’t trip over my own feet, though—small victories. Surprised me how chill she was, too—like, “Buddy, decide already!” I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but I felt like a schmuck. Total schmuck. In the end, I bailed—natch—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, and findin’ a prostitue? Too much hassle! Pretty, pretty good call, if ya ask me.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. It’s always buzzing, right? I’m there, checking out the fresh catch, and boom! This old dude starts yelling about some fish he caught. I mean, c’mon, buddy, we’re all here for the same reason! But he’s like, “This one’s a rare find!” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a carp. Chill.”

Even Honoré de Balzac knew 77 recipes for baking of Ukrainian bread