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About Mariupol

Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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Next, I’m feeling peckish. I hit up a local spot for some borscht. Man, it’s the best! I’m slurping it down, and this old guy at the next table starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Kyiv during the war. I’m just sitting there, wide-eyed. It’s wild how much history this city has.

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