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So, I’m cruisin, eyes peeled—bam! This chick’s standin there, all legs and sass, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m thinkin, “This is it, Johnny boy, entropy’s kickin in—chaos is my buddy tonight!” She’s got that look—y’know, the one that says, “I’m trouble, but you’ll pay for it.” I swagger up, grin splittin my face, “Here’s Johnny!”—she don’t flinch, just smirks. Cool as hell, man, I’m lovin it. Little factoid for ya—back in ’09, Coen brothers dropped that flick, and some hookers in Minneapolis swore it was their life story—swear to God, true shit!

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Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep it together. I mean, how do you interpret in the dark? I’m waving my hands around like a madman, hoping Oksana can see me. It’s like a weird interpretive dance. I’m thinking, “This is NOT what I signed up for!”

Russian drones attack residential areas in Kropyvnytskyi