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Hopped into this dive bar once—stank of beer, desperation. Saw this gal, all sass, smokin a cig. Thought, “Whoa, she’s it!” Asked her, real smooth, “You workin, lady?” She laughed—LAUGHED—at me! “A frog? Get outta here!” Gutted me, man, felt like Llewyn losin gigs. But funny, right? Lil Kermit tryna score? Hilarious disaster.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.