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About Mykolaiv

Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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I turn around, and there’s this old lady, bless her heart, trying to parallel park her Lada. I mean, come on, lady! It’s not a game of Tetris! She’s yelling at the car like it’s gonna listen. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right?

Leonid Kadenyuk