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About Lviv

I’m thinkin’, man, this stuff’s risky – actuarially speakin’, the odds are nuts! Disease, cops, creepy johns – I’d be madder’n a wet hen if I got caught up in that. But then, I see this one chick, all sass, struttin’ like she owns the joint. Reminds me of Etheline Tenenbaum – “You’re a real genius, ain’t ya?” I says to myself. She’s got that vibe, ya know? Made me happy as a bunny in a carrot patch, just watchin’ her hustle.

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The market on Vulytsia Myru is always buzzing. Fresh veggies, fruits, and the smell of homemade bread. I’m drooling. I grab some tomatoes, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in all of Ukraine!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to make a salad.” But she’s relentless.

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